Another draft that didn't get published while we were in crisis mode…
I feel like a hamster on a treadmill.....running, running, running and not really gettin' anywhere. And if the scenery were fabulous, I wouldn't care, but it seems I am staring at the four lanes of the beltway a LOT for the past month. But, I have to remember that there are people who are visiting their children in the hospital and staring at the grim and heartbreaking likelihood that their kids may never come home again. That certainly keeps everything in perspective for pretty much anyone, doesn't it?
DJ is home in the evenings again, but continues outpatient treatment for her anorexia nervosa. Again, while the 7day/week drive is tough, there is a girl in DJ's group who will need inpatient treatment for months, to the tune of $30,000/month. WOW! I think I can physically and monetarily afford what is in store for us, especially considering that DJ's condition really could be worse. Some people with this disorder simply refuse to eat, even while they're in treatment.
Can you imagine it? In drug rehab, you simply deny having drugs on the premises, and while they are in rehab, they will be successful in not using. But when a person refuses to eat....you can't make them. OK, you can make them "surgically" but even then, if the person were hell bent against taking in calories, they could merely rip out the tube. What do you do then-keep the person sedated until they put on enough weight? Wow....yeah....it could be worse. DJ finds it difficult to eat appropriate amounts of food that would meet her needs, but she is doing it. She doesn't refuse the Ensure when she cannot finish a meal, thank goodness, either.
But we did have to alter her "Wall of Randomness." This is a wall in her room on which she has pinned almost anything that she deems important: ticket stubs, letters, photos, (even one of Abe Lincoln), some 3D objects like a drawer pull, a giant wooden snowflake, and a goldplated shamrock. She has an autographed picture of Miss Virginia, 2010, who was so supportive when she met DJ. Miss Virginia had a lifelong struggle with a speech impediment and made her platform anti bullying. DJ met with her after her speech and shared that she was transgender. Miss Virginia embraced her and applauded her courage.
Most of the items on the "Wall of Randomness" were held in place with thumbtacks. Thumbtacks are sharp. Leaving them in her room would be no more fair to her than leaving brownies out for a person battling obesity, or alcohol for an alcoholic. When a person is feeling low on reserves, any of us will easily choose a behavior that may temporarily bring us a sense of control, but will hurt us in the end. We had to remove the tacks. DJ thought we were overreacting:
"I really doubt that I would go to the trouble of pulling tacks out of the wall."
"Well," her therapist replied, "two weeks ago I wouldn't have thought you would go to the trouble of inhaling bath salts either, and you probably didn't think you would either, but when you felt badly enough, you did."
Ummmm, yeah. I concur. Scotch tape will suffice and that is how I spent about 30 minutes of my day today, cursing silently under my breath as I pulled out easily over 100 thumbtacks.....sigh.
I feel like a hamster on a treadmill.....running, running, running and not really gettin' anywhere. And if the scenery were fabulous, I wouldn't care, but it seems I am staring at the four lanes of the beltway a LOT for the past month. But, I have to remember that there are people who are visiting their children in the hospital and staring at the grim and heartbreaking likelihood that their kids may never come home again. That certainly keeps everything in perspective for pretty much anyone, doesn't it?
DJ is home in the evenings again, but continues outpatient treatment for her anorexia nervosa. Again, while the 7day/week drive is tough, there is a girl in DJ's group who will need inpatient treatment for months, to the tune of $30,000/month. WOW! I think I can physically and monetarily afford what is in store for us, especially considering that DJ's condition really could be worse. Some people with this disorder simply refuse to eat, even while they're in treatment.
Can you imagine it? In drug rehab, you simply deny having drugs on the premises, and while they are in rehab, they will be successful in not using. But when a person refuses to eat....you can't make them. OK, you can make them "surgically" but even then, if the person were hell bent against taking in calories, they could merely rip out the tube. What do you do then-keep the person sedated until they put on enough weight? Wow....yeah....it could be worse. DJ finds it difficult to eat appropriate amounts of food that would meet her needs, but she is doing it. She doesn't refuse the Ensure when she cannot finish a meal, thank goodness, either.
But we did have to alter her "Wall of Randomness." This is a wall in her room on which she has pinned almost anything that she deems important: ticket stubs, letters, photos, (even one of Abe Lincoln), some 3D objects like a drawer pull, a giant wooden snowflake, and a goldplated shamrock. She has an autographed picture of Miss Virginia, 2010, who was so supportive when she met DJ. Miss Virginia had a lifelong struggle with a speech impediment and made her platform anti bullying. DJ met with her after her speech and shared that she was transgender. Miss Virginia embraced her and applauded her courage.
Most of the items on the "Wall of Randomness" were held in place with thumbtacks. Thumbtacks are sharp. Leaving them in her room would be no more fair to her than leaving brownies out for a person battling obesity, or alcohol for an alcoholic. When a person is feeling low on reserves, any of us will easily choose a behavior that may temporarily bring us a sense of control, but will hurt us in the end. We had to remove the tacks. DJ thought we were overreacting:
"I really doubt that I would go to the trouble of pulling tacks out of the wall."
"Well," her therapist replied, "two weeks ago I wouldn't have thought you would go to the trouble of inhaling bath salts either, and you probably didn't think you would either, but when you felt badly enough, you did."
Ummmm, yeah. I concur. Scotch tape will suffice and that is how I spent about 30 minutes of my day today, cursing silently under my breath as I pulled out easily over 100 thumbtacks.....sigh.
I like that you end this with a sigh. It's like a reminder to take a breath, everything will be okay. Thank you for sharing.
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