Friday, November 8, 2013

Absurd Parents

DJ has decided to go full vegetarian-no fish either.  She now eats nothing that actively breathes or urinates.  Sorry to be so blunt!  Bulldog and I are running out of meal ideas and I don't know that I necessarily want to adapt favorite meals to her liking.

"What about Chicken and Dumplings?  What do I make now.....just dumplings," I asked.

"Well, yeah," she replied.

"That's just dumb," was my intelligent retort.

Bulldog and I agree that she needs to make dinner for all of us now.  We don't mind eating as she does, we just aren't terribly creative in the vegetarian cuisine world.  We've worn out our handful of recipes rather quickly. Besides, her royal highness is pushing 19 years of age. She can cook more often.

I can practically hear her in my head decrying, "I cook!"  Brownies are not dinner.

Have I ever mentioned that she does nothing wrong.....ever?  According to her?  And the kicker is, as she's denying the mess that is her room, and stepping over any number of obstacles as she does so, she's got this innocent yet slightly exasperated expression on her face, as if to say, "What?  Whatever could you mean when you say my room is a disaster area?"

Or, if the evidence we supply is undeniable in its support of our assessment of a housekeeping skill that she needs to improve, she will dismiss us with, "That's absurd."  Yup-that's right.....she actually uses the word, "absurd."  She practically sniffs the word as she says it.  Yet, neither Bulldog or I can get mad because she somehow manages to be so nicely mild-mannered that we barely notice that we've been dismissed.  By the time we realize it, the moment for correction has passed, or it just doesn't seem so important.

Have you ever watched the movie, "Signs?"  There are multiple scenes where the daughter leaves numerous glasses of water ALL. OVER. THE HOUSE!  This is how DJ lives.  I have found 7 glasses in her room, another 3 down in the rec room by the piano, and an additional 1on the coffee table, on any given Saturday morning.  When I point this out, in mock anger, she just laughs because when she's absurd, it's funny. And it really is.

She somehow manages to become more charming all the time.....