Saturday, October 8, 2011

Start spreadin' the news

When DJ came out to us, it was a family affair.  She enlisted the help of two generations of family members for this endeavor.  The smart girl either knew where she could find support, or that there was safety in numbers.

The night before, she had asked if she could stay after school for a meeting followed by the football game.  She had blown us off for a number of days about following through with some chores so I told her she was to come home right after school, take care of her chores and then I would take her back for the game.  At this time, we still thought DJ was JD, our son, and Bulldog's approach was his typical "be hard on the boy so he won't slack off" in rearing JD.  He wasn't thrilled that I had compromised with JD, thinking that he should not be allowed to take part in any of his activities since he had failed to take part in our activities. I was feeling a bit tense about JD's return from school, as a result, because I knew there would be some friction in the house.

I sat on the front porch awaiting JD's return and for some strange reason, JD's brother, who we will call Romeo, joined me on the front porch to wait for JD to get off of the school bus. This was unusual but I only took note of the fact that Romeo was furiously texting someone.  But kids are always furiously texting each other, so it wasn't that notable, and besides, where the heck was JD?  Was the bus late or had he deliberately disobeyed me and stayed after school?  The little turd, he better not have!!!

Then I could make out bodies making their way toward our house.  Who was that?  Why, it was JD, and my sister, and my other sister, and her baby.  Wow, they sure were walking fast....the sister with the baby in particular.  "Maybe she has to pee or something," I thought.  I was excited to see the baby and ran to meet them half way.  "What are you doing here?" I asked my sister with the baby.  (My other sister was my neighbor so seeing her was not that unusual.)  "We're here to support JD," she replied. (Oh, so that's who Romeo was furiously texting.)


"Where's Bulldog?"

"He's napping."

"Wake him up."

Oh crap, this can't be good.  Bulldog wakes from his nap to see his living room filled with three additional people, which does not please him.  Then, when I inform him that they have something to tell us, he gets the same "oh crap" look on his face that I'm sure I had not two minutes prior.  Is someone pregnant?  Is someone on drugs?  Has someone been expelled?  We're the parents of teenagers, of course this is our thought process. Not that we asked, mind you, it's just what we were thinking, but not for long because then, as JD paused, and I got impatient, and my sister basically told JD, "Go ahead-you're on," JD said what, until then, I'd only ever heard on TV, "I'm a girl trapped in a boy's body."

JD had told Romeo, who told my sister Bean, who is lesbian and would likely be supportive.  Bean thought my other sister, Flying Pig, who specializes in dealing with children, would be the perfect advocate.  Together, they informed Bulldog and me.  He and I were about the 14th and 15th people, respectively, that knew of JD's  news.  She had already informed 10 of her closest friends at school.  I started getting images in my head of people storming our castle, a la "Shrek" or "Beauty and the Beast."  Because everyone knows, if you tell two friends, they'll tell two friends, and before you know it, an angry mob will be bearing down on you, carrying pitchforks.

But my very first utterances were, "Are you serious? Because if this is a joke, it's not funny." Bulldog was characteristically silent at this point, as he always is when the $--- first hits the fan.  However, on finding out that we had lost control of the situation even before we were aware it existed since, as stated previously we were the 14th and 15th people, respectively, to hear of the situation, THAT propelled him to speak.

"You told your closest friends?  Ten people?!"

Romeo, ready to kick Bulldog's @$$, states, "I don't think there's anything to be angry about here!"

I reply, "Hold on a second. We are on the same team. What you think is anger is abject fear."

Pretty dramatic stuff, yet, less than 12 hours later, Romeo, DJ and I are watching a movie together when Bulldog practically bursts out of his office, voice quaking, hugging us fiercely as a group, stating to DJ, "I hope I can be as brave as you are."  Equally as dramatic, but at least accepting.

But we have still not told the other remaining member of our nuclear family, our oldest son, Goodwrench.  We invite him to dinner and prepare surf n' turf, his favorite meal.  It's a lovely evening and we're going to eat on the deck overlooking our charming pond with the Canada geese landing at sunset.  Bulldog is grabbing condiments, and coming out of the house, Romeo is on his way in to get some ice, when Goodwrench looks at DJ and says, "JD, dude, you have got to change your clothes and your hair.  You're lookin' like a chick."

At that moment, my eyes alight on Bulldog and Romeo crossing paths and see an expression on Romeo's face that says, "The S--- is on."  It's pretty hilarious.  At this point, DJ actually says, "Well Goodwrench, funny you should say that...." and then she proceeds to inform him that she is, in fact a girl.

Goodwrench puts his arms on the armrests of the deckchair,  and simultaneously cocks his head to one side and says, "Really?"  Not as in, "Are you serious?!" but as in "You're shittin' me."  Then he kind of lifts both hands in the air, shrugs and says, "OK."

Huh?  This kid has borderline Tea Party leanings, much to my horror, yet he has rolled with this like a true tree hugger.  I can't believe this has gone so well thus far.  This gives me great hope because after all, if DJ has the parents on board, the brothers on board, and the aunts on board, maybe, just maybe, she can take on the world.