In spite of DJ's seeming good fortune at thus far being accepted, I still wonder and worry. Is she missing out in some way? She's not dating anyone-is that because she's not interested, or are others not interested? Does she feel like she's missing out on some social aspect of high school? Will she be able to make up for it in college?
These are questions that may remain unanswered for both Bulldog and me. And the possibility that she may have felt, or be experiencing emotional pain as a result of her condition leaving her on the margins of the high school social scene brings me down faster than, well, almost anything I've experienced as a parent. But she's at an age where her privacy is paramount. We can ask, but she may only give us minimal information.
Truth be told, everyone's happiness depends, to a certain degree, on the acceptance of those with whom we interact on a regular basis. And tolerance isn't enough. Haven't we all been in the position where we can tell someone who dislikes us is merely tolerating our presence? Isn't it excruciating? Most of have to contend with this at some point in our lives, but those of us who are markedly "different" from the commonplace will face this on a far more frequent basis.
My daughter's solution is to be as "real" as possible, which I can appreciate. She is ready to blaze a trail to foster acceptance not just for herself, but for all people who are marginalized. I applaud her courage while I secretly worry her search to find her soulmate will be prolonged, as a result. She will likely be honest with anyone with whom she is intimate about her past, even after she has the gender confirmation surgery and honesty is always the best policy. But sometimes, I just wish she would just present herself as a girl, not a trans girl, just so that she can have a real chance for once of just being seen for who she is: a real sweetheart of a young woman. But who am I to say?
Really, I just want her to be happy and I worry the world will try to stand in her way. There are so many people who want to deprive others of rights and privileges that the rest of us take for granted. And why? Because some of us interpret the bible a certain way. Just let her live her life. She has enough stacked against her being born in the wrong body. But what can I do about it? While I'm opinionated as can be, that doesn't mean I want to or am able to take on the political arena in any way. I make my own small steps toward informing others about the reality of this condition, but I can't change everyone's minds. What can I do? Just keep loving my kid. Keep supporting her and teaching her. Keep preparing her for the worst while hoping for the best. But, man, do I worry that that won't be nearly enough.