Friday, April 18, 2014



I've been blessed, yup, that's right, BLESSED, with forming pen pal relationships with two moms because of this blog.  One fantastic mom lives in Australia.  Her daughter came out to her family in the last couple of years and they are definitely plugging along well.  The other fantastic mom lives here in America, I believe somewhere along the east coast, and her son came out somewhat recently and they too are sticking together as family.  I am so lucky that these women are sharing their stories with me, and that I get to share mine with them, all because of our remarkable children. Maybe someday, the three of us can all meet up someday….and perhaps include a fourth English woman who is remarkable, as well, having transitioned in her 40s, quite bravely and, it seems to me, elegantly. I hope she knows who she is :)

In the interest of helping other transgender teens, adults and family of transgender folk, the American mom forward me a couple of links that are definitely worth sharing.  The first is a "Ted Talk"-I'm not sure if these are popular in other parts of the world, but they are fairly popular here in America.  Remarkable people share their stories…..

The other is more distinctly American:  it's a petition requesting that we get away from the binary gender identification requirements.  I gotta tell ya, unless you're trying to sell something, why do you need to know my gender?  Really?  It's just another way of attempting to label folks or put them in a box.

It's spring here in America.  Many religions have significant holidays this time of year, and with good reason as it is a season of birth and rebirth.  And for many folks, often the rebirth is more significant than the birth itself…..Peace to you all.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Love > Hate


The following doesn't address transgender folks specifically, but does address that families come in all shapes and sizes.  The members of the family do, as well.

Love is always at least ten times greater than hate.

Saturday, March 22, 2014


DJ is always tweaking her fashion style.  This is usually a reflection of how she is feeling any given day.  She is nearly 19 years old-her birthday is less than two months away-and can now wear certain items of clothing that Bulldog would have frowned on previously. (He is still not thrilled, but acquieces to her choices.)  A few weeks ago, on getting new glasses, she decided to don clothing to match her new look-sort of;  she normally wears contacts, but keeps a pair of glasses to give her eyes a break.  Typically, she doesn't care to wear her glasses to class or out in public.  But this time, she had chosen frames that gave her a studious look.  So, she donned a black bustier, which she wore over a white collared shirt, and added the studious looking glasses. She posted a picture on FB stating a friend christened her look the "sexy librarian."  (Yes, Bulldog was elated…..not.)

This morning, on returning from grocery shopping, I walk in to see her wearing the following:  a black turtleneck that is normally meant as cold-weather athletic attire, black leggings and black shorts over the  leggings.

"Is this your 'secret spy' look?", I asked.

"Yeah….(self conscious giggle) I guess so.  It's so beautiful out I took Keira (our German Shepherd) out for a walk and then did some yoga out on the deck,"  she replied.  This, to explain her attire, I suppose.

She's entering a "battle of the bands" at college in the next few weeks and is fretting about which song to choose.  She looks at me as if I have the answer...

"Don't ask me-you've written tons of stuff and I can't remember which is which."

DJ says, "Well, I've only written a few really good songs."

"Well, then, that should narrow it down for you, right?"

Not the answer she wanted to hear, I guess.

While she continues to scour through her prolific creations, I will begin our vegetarian dinner.  Wait, why isn't she cooking?  She's the vegetarian!!

Friday, March 21, 2014

Another one bites the dust

And another one falls…..

Here in America, despite our Constitution clearly stating that no state can pass a law that inhibits the rights or privileges of any of its citizens, we still have many states that are attempting to pass laws that prohibit gay and lesbian people from marrying.  Kentucky attempted to do just that, somewhat recently.  However, the Kentucky Supreme court struck it down;  a Kentucky citizen wanted to appeal the decision….this was the Attorney General's response:

For those folks not familiar with this part of America, Kentucky is in the "Bible Belt" and oftentimes, those states would prefer laws that were more in keeping with their Christian religion, even if those laws violate the Constitution.  Often, the argument in defense of this is that our "founding fathers were Christian" which is true;  however, those same founding fathers deliberately separated the powers of the church from the powers of the state when they agreed to the wording of the First Amendment of the Constitution.  The fact that this separation was part of the first amendment speaks to its importance.  

Discrimination is a losing battle.  It's not dead in the water yet, but it's certainly gasping for air.  Take heart and remember  Martin Luther King, Jr.'s words:  We shall overcome. 

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Weekend at Bulldog's

We at Transitioning Family are always on the lookout for links that might be helpful to the GLBTQ community, as well as to loved ones of that community.  We are fortunate to have a subscriber, who is a great mom to her son who just came out to his family recently;  she passed on a link to a book that might be helpful to teens in the GLBTQ community:

Big thanks to Swan!

We, at the house of Bulldog, had a great weekend.

DJ woke up with her hair looking like the Greek guy on the show Ancient Aliens.

So, she posted a pic on FB, similar to the one above, denoting just that.  Love that girl!

She has also completely won over a family friend.  We'll call this guy Warrior Doc because he is both a soldier and a physician's assistant.  Romeo, Juliet and DJ all think he looks like a Jedi from Star Wars, because he's pretty imposing looking.  Tall, handsome, piercing blue eyes, shaved head and goatee-like beard, he's also disarmingly quiet until you get to know him.  He and Bulldog met through work.  Both men have been through some harrowing events in their line of work and Warrior Doc spent many weeks with us between tours in Afghanistan.  He is now safely settled stateside, thank goodness, and we see him every so often when he comes to spend a weekend with us at our place.

Warrior Doc didn't know DJ was transgender until a few weeks ago when Bulldog shared it with him.  I had mentioned to Warrior Doc that DJ "came out" so he thought I meant she was lesbian. He asked Bulldog, stating it didn't matter to him one way or the other, but was curious.  Bulldog shared DJ's coming out story and Warrior Doc adores her even more, I think.  And the best part is how much DJ loves Warrior Doc.  She makes him laugh and he cracks her up, as well.

Warrior Doc is a big favorite with Goodwrench, Romeo and Juliet, as well.  And I think he likes being around our kids-the first time I saw him really laugh after 18 months in Afghanistan, was playing a game called, "Cards against Humanity."

This game is crude, socially unacceptable, and therefore, very much enjoyed in our household.  That was when all members of our family gelled with Warrior Doc-our kids made Warrior Doc laugh out loud, which made them think he was the bomb.  And I think Warrior Doc may be one of DJ's biggest music fans.  He likes to be supplied with her latest compositions.  Good stuff-no?

We all ate too much, played games and watched movies until 2 in the morning.  It's no wonder DJ's hair looked like it did!  To know that girl is to love her ;)

Friday, March 7, 2014

LGBTQ-friendly Nun

Does your family struggle with religious fears about your "non-conforming" gender identity?  Do you struggle with a loved one's gender identity? This article is about a Catholic nun who seeks to remind people that God loves us all regardless of who we love, or whether our bodies and senses of self differ from each other.  If God created us in His image, then why are there two "official" genders and not one?  And if there are two, might there be more?  Or none?  Isn't it possible that God is neither male nor female, or perhaps both, or having aspects of both?

If you believe in God, then why limit God?

This woman is inspiring-trangender people need to know how many are championing their cause.  Please spread the word….

Many thanks to my sister-in-law, Malone, a practicing Catholic, for sharing this.  We love you lady!

"Brother, can you spare a dime?"

I was tooling around on FB and am a subscriber to the "Give A Damn" campaign at and came across an article about some folks that are rehabbing a row home in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, for LGBTQ youth who are homeless due to family rejection.  It's a two bedroom place and is expected to house up to 8 young people between ages 18-21.  They are 10% of the way to their goal of $40,000 to fix the inside of the house up to be suitable for use.

Every little bit helps-if you care to donate, go to the link below:

The numbers of young LGBTQ folks who are homeless solely because of family rejection is disheartening.  These kids are someone's babies….maybe we can be the village to help raise the child.  Please pass the word…..