Saturday, June 1, 2013

It's Graduation Day....sorta

Long time, no chat.  This is largely because I fret about DJ's anonymity.  In fact, I often feel paranoid about it, but that is a potential topic for another time.

Today, high schools all over the place are holding their graduation ceremonies.  We've experienced this twice with Goodwrench and Romeo but will not be experiencing it with DJ.  Yes-she has officially graduated high school, but no, she is not taking part in the graduation ceremony at the high school from which she officially graduated.

This is a decision that she made, and Bulldog and I support.  Had she decided to "walk" on graduation day, we would have supported that, too.  It was a long and tough haul getting her to this point:  she went through three hospitalizations in 18 months, one of which to bring her outers in line with her inners, the other two related to stress and eating disorder.

I feel sad today but hope that this is the last milestone that is markedly different than what she might want.  I'm trying to be positive.  There have been so many other celebrations she has missed because she was hidden, then so many more because she wasn't accepted, the prom and graduation among them.

Dynamo was kind enough to remember us today stating that DJ's name was in the program and that she saved one for us.  She has been an unbelievably supportive and loving friend and mentor for DJ and for me.  I am so touched she thought of us today.

When DJ made the decision, she stated, "I really only went there for one  year. I don't feel a real connection to it."  Understandable, certainly.

She's our last to graduate.  When Goodwrench and Romeo graduated, it was exciting and fun to see them cross the stage and celebrate with their friends afterward.  I wanted that for her and for us.  Getting DJ to this point was a much greater challenge than it was for her brothers because of social dynamics and medical considerations.  A celebration is even more warranted for her, in my opinion.  We're having a party for her, a rather small affair, at her request, and then a few days after that, she'll be heading overseas to see Apple in the company of Sister Chromatid, so she won't fare too badly, I don't think.  But I'm still lickin' my wounds a bit.  Maybe it's just for fact, I think it is.  DJ seems to be nonplussed by this and spent the afternoon hanging out with a friend she met at community college.

It helps realizing that this is one of the last milestones of youth that she will experience differently because of her former life.  That's not to say she won't have other decisions in the future related to her previous life, but there is nothing else to stand in her way for college, or jobs, or parties, because high school was the last vestige of her previous life.  She did, we did it.  <Big SIGH of relief>