Caitlyn Jenner-welcome!!! Coming out so publicly takes enormous ovaries and while you may not have been born with ovaries, you clearly have plenty of figurative ovaries. Yup-I saw the Diane Sawyer interview and I am not sorry to say at all that it was so clear that "Bruce" is female. I for one could feel it. I'm aware that there are many people, primarily those whose brains and DNA match, who are not convinced that a person who has walked the earth for over 60 years could seemingly suddenly "change" genders. Surprisingly, I have had cyber conversations with people who are transgender, some of whom prefer the term "transsexual," who also are suspicious of a person transitioning so late in life. It surprised me to hear people who are living the "trans" reality attempt to put others, with similar circumstances as themselves, into a specific category, but it happens.
Why do "trans" and non-"trans" people care about who or when or why a person transitions? Do we think it somehow undermines our own gender somehow? Isn't that a bit preposterous? If I start defining my gender based on those around me, super models, beauty pageant contestants, and the women in the "Real Housewives" shows will make me feel like I am simply not a woman at all. If I compare myself with a traditionally "masculine" appearing woman, does that make me feel more feminine? No…the whole thing is just preposterous. I don't need to check my panties, or anyone else's, to determine who I am. Why on earth other people care is beyond me.
This is what I do worry about, however-despite Caitlyn's enormous courage- her public transition, unfortunately, has served to bring out all of the wing nuts from their hide-y holes. Is this Caitlyn's fault? Absolutely not. However, I would be lying if I were to say that as a mom, I do not worry a bit about DJ's exposure to the acrid hatred that is currently showing up on Facebook regarding Ms. Jenner's appearance on Vanity Fair.
DJ has been playing the piano for nearly an hour straight…and the music is not sprightly and happy sounding, so perhaps she has been witness to some display of ugliness, as playing the piano is often an outlet for her. The likelihood that any ugliness she witnesses is directed at her is slim; there are only a handful of us who know of her past. But it still must sting.
Her life is wonderful- and I want it to stay that way. I'd like to hack into the computers of certain alleged anti-LGBTQ "professional truth teller" bloggers to prevent them from airing their asinine opinions for, well, ever. But folks like that are like cockroaches…they go into hiding and breed. It's best to let them come out into the daylight wherewe can spray the hell out of them with Raid they can face the consequences of being the horrific creatures they really are by exposing their true selves to the world.
Ms. Jenner-it doesn't matter that you're gorgeous in the photo on Vanity Fair. I just keep thinking how every woman should have at least one moment where she feels great about herself. Ms. Jenner has waited a long time to openly feel great about herself as a woman. Rock on woman!!!
Why do "trans" and non-"trans" people care about who or when or why a person transitions? Do we think it somehow undermines our own gender somehow? Isn't that a bit preposterous? If I start defining my gender based on those around me, super models, beauty pageant contestants, and the women in the "Real Housewives" shows will make me feel like I am simply not a woman at all. If I compare myself with a traditionally "masculine" appearing woman, does that make me feel more feminine? No…the whole thing is just preposterous. I don't need to check my panties, or anyone else's, to determine who I am. Why on earth other people care is beyond me.
This is what I do worry about, however-despite Caitlyn's enormous courage- her public transition, unfortunately, has served to bring out all of the wing nuts from their hide-y holes. Is this Caitlyn's fault? Absolutely not. However, I would be lying if I were to say that as a mom, I do not worry a bit about DJ's exposure to the acrid hatred that is currently showing up on Facebook regarding Ms. Jenner's appearance on Vanity Fair.
DJ has been playing the piano for nearly an hour straight…and the music is not sprightly and happy sounding, so perhaps she has been witness to some display of ugliness, as playing the piano is often an outlet for her. The likelihood that any ugliness she witnesses is directed at her is slim; there are only a handful of us who know of her past. But it still must sting.
Her life is wonderful- and I want it to stay that way. I'd like to hack into the computers of certain alleged anti-LGBTQ "professional truth teller" bloggers to prevent them from airing their asinine opinions for, well, ever. But folks like that are like cockroaches…they go into hiding and breed. It's best to let them come out into the daylight where
Ms. Jenner-it doesn't matter that you're gorgeous in the photo on Vanity Fair. I just keep thinking how every woman should have at least one moment where she feels great about herself. Ms. Jenner has waited a long time to openly feel great about herself as a woman. Rock on woman!!!
I guess transition and have a transsexual child (from a mothers perspective at least) must be a similar experience to pregnancy and childbirth, a few months and you forget all the sicknesses, the discomfort, the pain and the fear and Hey! Let's do it again!!
ReplyDeleteDo you think that if JD hadn't had your help and support, that he could have fathered kids and made it to sixty? (I still have every one of your emails, Would you like me to refreash your memory a bit?)
Perhaps these older folks talk a good game and their complements to you make you feel good about yourself and all you've been through, but remember that they know nothing of how you felt when DJ was newly post-op and bleeding badly.
I do.
I remember where I was, what I was doing, and what I told you in my email.
And THAT is the difference. We know the hurt and pain, we do it anyway because our life depends on it (like DJ did)
The older folks can (and do) live without it, it's a choice for them, they do it when it isn't going to cost them anything they're not already happy enough to loose.
That said, okay, we are the same! So I'll go out myself tomorrow and DJ should do the same.
Won't make a difference right? And they're always telling us we should be "proud" stand up! Stand out! Make a "difference"
Thank you P, I've learned much from you and this.
As always I hope you're all well.
The position the author of this blog takes, and will always take, is that people are different and thus I cannot assume that a decision to transition early in life or relatively later in life means anything necessarily nefarious. To come out or not come out are equally courageous decisions from my perspective, having not actually walked in the shoes of a person who has needed to stay hidden. No matter the "group" there will always be a person who is simply not a well-adjusted person; unfortunately, many outsiders will hold the maladjusted person up as an example of what is "wrong" with that entire group of persons with the similar trait. This should not happen, but it does…all the time. I maintain that none of us perhaps can accurately state what another person's motivations are 100% of the time. I, for one, will continue to give the benefit of the doubt to all people and hope they do the same for me. I try to remember that few people will risk much to gain little. Few will risk much to gain much either. Coming out as gay, lesbian, gender queer, or anywhere other than "traditional male or female" on the gender spectrum is a significant risk. Until any individual has given me a reason that seems inordinately suspect, I will continue to assume a persons who "come out" are being authentically themselves. Who am I to presume otherwise? No one of consequence. The Author
ReplyDeleteAh! So ignorance is bliss?
ReplyDeletethat's good! That means you made it.
Love and peace to you.