So, we are off on our next adventure with DJ. She is coming up with a more definitive plan for her future. She spent two weeks with Apple and her family, and now DJ hopes to return there next year and pursue her degree there. Bulldog and I are quite happy for her and hope her plans come to fruition.
However, DJ is a sprite and a procrastinator, of sorts. She is a true butterfly in that she may have a strong sense of direction, but sometimes the slightest gust of wind can throw her off course. And then she gets distracted by some pretty flowers and forgets her way back to her original direction, until prodded.
She will be traveling slightly further from home for her classes this year. This is a good thing as the post-secondary institution is in a more urban setting than where she is now. She will be exposed to more cultures and beliefs than in our small town. This would serve anyone well, but I think it will help her dating situation.
DJ has had a few young men interested in her. One is still pursuing her, and she merely acts as if she doesn't see his advances as having a romantic connection. She engaged in a 4 month relationship with a nice young man, and then ended it stating that she really didn't think boys were her cup of tea, after all. While she was visiting Apple. she crossed paths with a young woman who inspired her to write a fantastic song.
DJ had expressed that she felt attracted to girls to me before. Once she played this song for Bulldog and me, we came to see that she was sharing with us what her orientation is. Not that we care. In fact, I've said this before and I'll say it again: I believe that if DJ decides to share her history with the person she falls in love with and hopes to spend her life with, the odds are more in her favor of her mate accepting her history if her mate is a woman rather than a man.
Now that many states in America are moving toward allowing gay marriage, and even if DJ resides, someday, in a state that doesn't legally recognize gay marriage, we look forward to a wedding and frankly don't care if there are two brides, or a bride and a groom. We look forward to her being a mother and our only concern is helping her to that end in any way we can.
Back to my point: maybe DJ will meet a nice girl that she can hang out with as a friend, or as her date.
Whatever makes her happy :)
However, DJ is a sprite and a procrastinator, of sorts. She is a true butterfly in that she may have a strong sense of direction, but sometimes the slightest gust of wind can throw her off course. And then she gets distracted by some pretty flowers and forgets her way back to her original direction, until prodded.
She will be traveling slightly further from home for her classes this year. This is a good thing as the post-secondary institution is in a more urban setting than where she is now. She will be exposed to more cultures and beliefs than in our small town. This would serve anyone well, but I think it will help her dating situation.
DJ has had a few young men interested in her. One is still pursuing her, and she merely acts as if she doesn't see his advances as having a romantic connection. She engaged in a 4 month relationship with a nice young man, and then ended it stating that she really didn't think boys were her cup of tea, after all. While she was visiting Apple. she crossed paths with a young woman who inspired her to write a fantastic song.
DJ had expressed that she felt attracted to girls to me before. Once she played this song for Bulldog and me, we came to see that she was sharing with us what her orientation is. Not that we care. In fact, I've said this before and I'll say it again: I believe that if DJ decides to share her history with the person she falls in love with and hopes to spend her life with, the odds are more in her favor of her mate accepting her history if her mate is a woman rather than a man.
Now that many states in America are moving toward allowing gay marriage, and even if DJ resides, someday, in a state that doesn't legally recognize gay marriage, we look forward to a wedding and frankly don't care if there are two brides, or a bride and a groom. We look forward to her being a mother and our only concern is helping her to that end in any way we can.
Back to my point: maybe DJ will meet a nice girl that she can hang out with as a friend, or as her date.
Whatever makes her happy :)
I'm glad your child feels comfortable enough to come out a second time to you and her father. I know that when I first came out as transgender many continued to think I was only attracted to women. It is a common misconception in the trans* community that we ONLY like the gender opposite from our gender identity/expression. I am married to a man and I don't really think much about my orientation. I am who I am and that's all that matters. I am glad you are allowing your daughter to explore herself in all way possible. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteeither way I'm happy for her, however, I wouldn't be surprised to see her bounce back and forth more than once before she "finds herself" completely.
ReplyDeleteIn spite of outside appearances, it takes quite some time to become comfortable and settled within one's self and with the past (any trauma, and that's what this was, takes time to completely reconcile, dealing with feelings and the reasons they seemingly needed to be repressed, etc) and that tends to make solid/final "direction" a fleeting proposition this early.
what she seeks is love (although she doesn't even understand what that is yet), a true connection, at 18, what she is yet to understand is that most boys her age do not seek that same, however, things won't always be that way
time will tell.
glad to hear from you
you're in my thoughts and I hope you're all doing well.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your blog from time to time, both for increasing my own outlook of the world and for topic inspiration. Among other things, I write about LGBT rights issues for the YouMeThink.com blog. I'm trying to build a readership and would love to hear your thoughts, particularly on my review of the Gender Dysphoria section of the DSM-5 and how it pertains to trans people ( http://youmethink.com/blog/a-book-review-on-a-small-segment-of-the-dsm-5/ )
Thanks for your support of your daughter-- that kind of support helps so much.
Catching up a little late with this post. Time moves on oh so quickly and its seems only a few months ago when the challenges faced were as high and as hard as ever. You shared some parts of that journey with us all and now there is nothing but delight to read this latest post.
ReplyDeleteYour daughter has come so far and its truly lovely to read that she is spreading her wings and growing into a young woman physically alongside the girl and woman she always was inside.
I appreciate that you may think that what you and your family have done for her is what any loving family would do for their child but I still think its very special. You have given her the chance of a full and rich life and I think that's just wonderful. You freed her from pain that luckily only few of us can comprehend and that's a gift that's beyond words.