I am not one to normally blame PMS for my mood irregularities. And yes, you do not have to be a menstruating woman to experience them since they are often the result of hormonal influences. Women of all walks of life likely have some kind of experience with our hormones getting the best of us.
I woke up with wicked cramps this morning, so I am going to chalk my ire and mania and hysteria to the aforementioned hormones. It's my crutch and I'll lean on it if I want to!! Poor, poor Bulldog was the recipient of my moodiness last night. I had rearranged the furniture in the den after cleaning up and Bulldog comes up from downstairs stating, in a solemn tone, "You'd better call the police. Someone broke into our basement. pause...And they rearranged the furniture."
I don't know why, because I seldom panic, but during the" police, broke in", etc., and before the furniture remark, I got scared. When I realized his (albeit lame) joke, I had a mini-meltdown.
"What the hell were you thinking? You scared the crap out of me?!"
Then, the next morning, I got on my rant about the anti-woman sentiments that exist in this world. I'll spare you the details, as the look on Bulldog's face is etched into my brain and serves to remind me that my howling at the moon is not only annoying as s---, but serves no purpose whatsoever. And really, it's a smokescreen for what's really bothering me-the worry that DJ will not be ok.
I cannot cry easily- I wish I could but I've got 30 years of holding it back out of necessity for any number of reasons that I will not recount right now. It's been a great tool for me for a very a long time, but now, I can't get to my sadness except through my anger. This is unfortunate for me because I can't easily access my feelings. And poor Bulldog usually receives the brunt of my anger as I'm trying to access my sadness, feelings of loss, fears, anxieties, etc.
So until I find a way to access those feelings, I've decided that when I start crying over spilled milk, that I will recognize that urge to whine as a sign that something else is going on; before I get on my pulpit, that I should instead take a step backward before I give in to the urge to verbally purge, unless I can be more constructive. Sometimes I have to put my issues in boxes to be able to deal with them one at a time. A new spin on one day at a time perhaps....one issue at a time and break it down into small bites.
I woke up with wicked cramps this morning, so I am going to chalk my ire and mania and hysteria to the aforementioned hormones. It's my crutch and I'll lean on it if I want to!! Poor, poor Bulldog was the recipient of my moodiness last night. I had rearranged the furniture in the den after cleaning up and Bulldog comes up from downstairs stating, in a solemn tone, "You'd better call the police. Someone broke into our basement. pause...And they rearranged the furniture."
I don't know why, because I seldom panic, but during the" police, broke in", etc., and before the furniture remark, I got scared. When I realized his (albeit lame) joke, I had a mini-meltdown.
"What the hell were you thinking? You scared the crap out of me?!"
Then, the next morning, I got on my rant about the anti-woman sentiments that exist in this world. I'll spare you the details, as the look on Bulldog's face is etched into my brain and serves to remind me that my howling at the moon is not only annoying as s---, but serves no purpose whatsoever. And really, it's a smokescreen for what's really bothering me-the worry that DJ will not be ok.
I cannot cry easily- I wish I could but I've got 30 years of holding it back out of necessity for any number of reasons that I will not recount right now. It's been a great tool for me for a very a long time, but now, I can't get to my sadness except through my anger. This is unfortunate for me because I can't easily access my feelings. And poor Bulldog usually receives the brunt of my anger as I'm trying to access my sadness, feelings of loss, fears, anxieties, etc.
So until I find a way to access those feelings, I've decided that when I start crying over spilled milk, that I will recognize that urge to whine as a sign that something else is going on; before I get on my pulpit, that I should instead take a step backward before I give in to the urge to verbally purge, unless I can be more constructive. Sometimes I have to put my issues in boxes to be able to deal with them one at a time. A new spin on one day at a time perhaps....one issue at a time and break it down into small bites.
I can't remember if you've said if DJ is on hormones yet, but when she is remember that her mood will swing just as yours. Due to prescriptions ending , delays in mail and such, I've been off my hormones for up to 2 weeks sometimes. My wife knows to keep a distance between us when that happens.
ReplyDeleteNice to hear DJ is doing better.
Oh yeah-she's on hormones. And yes, they alter her mood somewhat. Thank goodness she's more temperate than her passionate mother-lucky for me anyway! Thanks for the support Stephanie-I truly appreciate it :)
ReplyDelete