Whether you are new to this reality, or an old timer who still feels like they just don't get it, try reading the following. They were initially recommended by a therapist who is very experienced in treating trans kids:
The Transgender Child by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper
True Selves, Understanding Transsexualism by Mildred L. Brown and Chloe Ann Rounsley
Transgender Explained for those who are not by Joanne Herman
This a great place to start as the explanations are gentle, not in-your-face, and particularly in the case of True Selves, explain from the perspective of a transgender person. It's hard to not feel empathy after reading it.
By the way, if you're struggling with feeling sympathy or empathy-meaning you're just reeling from trying to absorb and accept and cannot possibly feel another emotion-FAKE IT!! Seriously-it will eventually come naturally. And if you can manage it, try to start using the pronoun of the gender your child feels he/she is, rather than the gender he/she was born-at least to the trans person and to immediate family members residing in the home. AGAIN-it will feel STRANGE as all H - E - double- toothpicks!!! It's a starting place and your kid will be more appreciative than you can imagine. We all want to be accepted for who we are-right? And it feels great when someone "gets us". So even if you don't really "get it" but you ACT like you do, it's still a step in the right direction. It's loving your kid. If you can only manage it once or twice, at least you're trying. Hang in there and hope to see you back :)
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