It's 9:40 in the evening and I just finished my homework. I'm finally finishing my Bachelor's degree, just in time for my 50th birthday in May. I'm a masochist because I'm taking accelerated, 8-week classes, four at a time, to finish quickly. I cannot wait for this 8-week session to end. The courses that I thought would be so interesting are just plain making me mad, mad, mad.
One is on sociology and another is on ethics in management. Both topics are zeroing in on discrimination and all its forms: gender, age, orientation, race, ethnicity…ad infinitum. Any attempt to have a real discussion among my online peers is met with the sound of crickets chirping. Oh, lest I forget-one person did respond to my post about sexism to say that it was some people's "perspective." As if pay disparity is up for interpretation: "You say Po-tay-toe, I say Po-tah-toe."
Another guy actually wrote that "racism isn't as much of a problem anymore." Any people of color who care to chime in on this? Any female people of color care to chime in? Or, how about the triple whammy: any transgender female people of color care to comment? The fact of the matter is that a person's "perspective" tends to be skewed by which end of the racism, sexism, or any other "ism" specter one is on. I would be surprised to hear a natal white man say of black people, "Hey, it ain't so bad for you people anymore. It's not like people are burning crosses in your yard nowadays." True, but black kids are getting shot, without real provocation, nearly exclusively as a race, by figures of authority who are almost exclusively white.
Or on my asking a D.C. firefighter, who was trying to recruit new hires, what it's like being a female firefighter in D.C., to have him reply that they have "this one" who is great and they "let her" hang with them.
So yes, President Obama mentioned transgender people and yes, it was glorious. But clearly, that has not laid LGBT discrimination to rest-it has served only as a wake-up call.
I'm a paramedic/firefighter and I tend to equate many things to paramedic analogies. If you find that is annoying, read no further. I teach new EMTs and paramedics too and I've found a common mistake among such folk is thinking that persons having a heart attack who are experiencing little pain, or an improvement in pain need no further intervention in the form of medication administration. That is WRONG. It's wrong as wrong can be, actually. If a person has chest pain equal to a 3 on a scale of 10, or her pain is down to a 4 from a 6, that does not mean we stop treating the chest pain, because ANY pain means the problem is still ongoing. It's just seems like it's gotten better. The goal is ZERO pain and we keep plugging away at reducing the pain as long as the patient can tolerate it, until we reach ZERO. Nada. Zilch.
The same is true for "isms." Yes, improvement is desirable; it's encouraging and gives us incentive to keep fighting the good fight. But it does not mean the "danger" has passed, because it has not. It's just masquerading as being a "lesser" problem, which is even more dangerous, if you ask me.
So, we don't rest on our laurels. (What are laurels, anyway? Shouldn't an author know the meaning of the words she uses? Isn't that a rule somewhere?) We rejoice in the important step forward, and then say, "Nope, not good enough." That's right-we stay dissatisfied until the world is equally satisfying to those who are getting ripped off from enjoying what other people get to enjoy simply because their chromosomes and their brains don't agree.
There will be a backlash, and likely more than one. But that can't stop progress. You moms and dads out there who are helping your kids in being who they truly are- you folks have to be the warriors for your kids. As if I'm telling you something you don't already know!! And you adults who have bravely lived hidden, and equally bravely refuse to hide anymore, you too are entitled to all of it. The whole shebang- acceptance, love, marriage, child-rearing, work, education, safety, physical health and emotional wellness, by God-happiness, even. So yes, keep pushing that envelope. Any level of discrimination, exclusivity and hate above a zero means the problem is still threatening, and is therefore unacceptable. Keep fighting the good fight :)
One is on sociology and another is on ethics in management. Both topics are zeroing in on discrimination and all its forms: gender, age, orientation, race, ethnicity…ad infinitum. Any attempt to have a real discussion among my online peers is met with the sound of crickets chirping. Oh, lest I forget-one person did respond to my post about sexism to say that it was some people's "perspective." As if pay disparity is up for interpretation: "You say Po-tay-toe, I say Po-tah-toe."
Another guy actually wrote that "racism isn't as much of a problem anymore." Any people of color who care to chime in on this? Any female people of color care to chime in? Or, how about the triple whammy: any transgender female people of color care to comment? The fact of the matter is that a person's "perspective" tends to be skewed by which end of the racism, sexism, or any other "ism" specter one is on. I would be surprised to hear a natal white man say of black people, "Hey, it ain't so bad for you people anymore. It's not like people are burning crosses in your yard nowadays." True, but black kids are getting shot, without real provocation, nearly exclusively as a race, by figures of authority who are almost exclusively white.
Or on my asking a D.C. firefighter, who was trying to recruit new hires, what it's like being a female firefighter in D.C., to have him reply that they have "this one" who is great and they "let her" hang with them.
So yes, President Obama mentioned transgender people and yes, it was glorious. But clearly, that has not laid LGBT discrimination to rest-it has served only as a wake-up call.
I'm a paramedic/firefighter and I tend to equate many things to paramedic analogies. If you find that is annoying, read no further. I teach new EMTs and paramedics too and I've found a common mistake among such folk is thinking that persons having a heart attack who are experiencing little pain, or an improvement in pain need no further intervention in the form of medication administration. That is WRONG. It's wrong as wrong can be, actually. If a person has chest pain equal to a 3 on a scale of 10, or her pain is down to a 4 from a 6, that does not mean we stop treating the chest pain, because ANY pain means the problem is still ongoing. It's just seems like it's gotten better. The goal is ZERO pain and we keep plugging away at reducing the pain as long as the patient can tolerate it, until we reach ZERO. Nada. Zilch.
The same is true for "isms." Yes, improvement is desirable; it's encouraging and gives us incentive to keep fighting the good fight. But it does not mean the "danger" has passed, because it has not. It's just masquerading as being a "lesser" problem, which is even more dangerous, if you ask me.
So, we don't rest on our laurels. (What are laurels, anyway? Shouldn't an author know the meaning of the words she uses? Isn't that a rule somewhere?) We rejoice in the important step forward, and then say, "Nope, not good enough." That's right-we stay dissatisfied until the world is equally satisfying to those who are getting ripped off from enjoying what other people get to enjoy simply because their chromosomes and their brains don't agree.
There will be a backlash, and likely more than one. But that can't stop progress. You moms and dads out there who are helping your kids in being who they truly are- you folks have to be the warriors for your kids. As if I'm telling you something you don't already know!! And you adults who have bravely lived hidden, and equally bravely refuse to hide anymore, you too are entitled to all of it. The whole shebang- acceptance, love, marriage, child-rearing, work, education, safety, physical health and emotional wellness, by God-happiness, even. So yes, keep pushing that envelope. Any level of discrimination, exclusivity and hate above a zero means the problem is still threatening, and is therefore unacceptable. Keep fighting the good fight :)
I love your idealism P, but sadly you're wrong. We aren't all created equal, and not everyone is "entitled".
ReplyDeleteI'm not entitled to be pregnant, nor to know child birth, just as many are not "entitled" to experience any number of things that millions of others take for granted.
And for most of it, no amount of "standing up" or fighting for "it" will ever make it happen for some of us.
That's the way the world is, and as painful as I personally.find that, it's the way the world needs to be, it's nature, it's the reason our species survives.
Alas!
No-one said life had to be "fair", and it amazes me how those who've had the most "entitlements" (privileges) appear to cry the loudest when life doesn't go the way they want it to.
Today's comment was sponsored by the letter E
E for entitlement
E for expectations
:-)
Rachel-I didn't mean entitled. And yes, mother nature and circumstances beyond our control will prevent many of us from having what we want. But discrimination should never be what serves as the obstacle. You, or anyone is no more and no less "entitled" or privileged than anyone else and as long as those privileged try to disenfranchise others, there is work to be done. This isn't about whining it's about making sure that all have the opportunity to exercise options equally. The world is painful enough without a handful of folks deliberating attempting to disenfranchise others. This is what I'm referring to not "entitlement" or "expectations" except the ones that count the most. Note I didn't say "child-birth" but childrearing. That option can and should be open to any responsible adult, regardless of orientation.
ReplyDeleteThe trick is changing what you can't, letting go of what you can't, and having the wisdom to know the difference-to paraphrase that prayer. You can't change your biology, but should that mean you can't raise children, get married, be offered a job for which you are qualified, have equal pay for equal ability? Hell no-and that's what I'm talking about when I say "keep fighting"-it's not an entitlement to expect equitable and fair treatment where it can be legislated. I disagree that the reason we survive is because "nature" is exclusive. We survive despite that, not because of it. "Created equal" means created with equal rights not equal ability. This is what I'm referring to. While there are certain to be those who do cry about entitlements, and I agree that they often tend to be the most privileged, equal rights IS an entitlement we all should be entitled to. Until such time that that occurs (which may be never) does not mean it's ok to throw up our hands and say, "Why bother?" I suspect you and I agree more than it seems-there is a certain grace in accepting what cannot be changed. However, "social" equality is not one of those things. Biology will deal us the hands we have and we have little control over that. But we can and should attempt to change what we can. My comments are also sponsored by the letter E:
E for Equality
E for Endurance in Expecting the same legal and social Entitlements regardless of race, gender, orientation, age, or religion.
Lol! you should write speeches for the president. :-P
ReplyDeleteI DID notice you wrote "childrearing" and not "child-birth", I wrote what I did to make a point (that hopefully you couldn't step around in your own mind).
I don't believe the reason our species survives is specifically due to nature being "exclusive" however, believe it or not, I do believe that even that exclusiveness is a contributing factor (and likely more so than most would believe).
I believe there is a reason for everything in the world even the bad.
I also believe that many choose to play the "victim" and many who fight for "change" do so for selfish reasons and using false pretences.
Yes, I would like to see change for those who truly need it, I'm just more cynical and critical as to who does.
these are just my opinions though (one thing I AM supposed to be entitled to), depending on who you talk to, I wouldn't know what I'm talking about, I'm just a young heterosexual white woman with a good home, a loving boyfriend and a multitude of other "privileges", I've probably never known hardship or discrimination or exclusion in my life huh?
I could almost laugh at the irony that is life, if it wasn't me who'd lived through what I have.
the change want to see, starts with women I believe, with women DOING not "fighting" not "standing up" not talking or yelling, DOING!
If you allow people the power to decide what you can and can't do, how you should or should not be treated, then of course they will use that power (and abuse it).
Rachel, all due respect, but "doing" includes fighting. How do you think you and I are permitted to vote? Because women fought for that right. It should have been "given" to us like it was to white, property- owning men, but it wasn't. Women had to be imprisoned and beaten, they had to fight and keep "standing up" every time someone knocked them down, literally and figuratively, before women were "given" the right to vote. No offense, but your notions of "doing" not "fighting" seem great in theory, but the reality is there are social constructs that have been in play for millennia. I'm a firefighter and a paramedic-I "DO" all the time. I don't yell, I don't talk, I just show up and "DO" and in fact "do" paramedicine better than most, but if you think that simply works to overcome discrimination that is persistent, then you simply haven't walked enough miles in enough moccasins that belong to someone else. And if you think that my daughter didn't have to fight her way back, or stand up to ugliness and hate, I'm not sure what you're thinking truthfully. She is the last to yell, or talk about private issues, she just shows up and does what she's supposed to and wants to do. So what are you saying, she and I (and others in similar circumstances) just didn't "DO" enough? You're sadly mistaken if you think she or I "gave" our power away. People try to take other people's power. Every. Single. Day. Many have to FIGHT simply to keep their power-but that doesn't mean putting on boxing gloves. It's simply refusing to back down from what is right. As far as choosing to "play" the "victim"-I will not jump to that conclusion readily in judging others predicaments since I'm not at the bottom of the social pecking order, and I'm not because, unfortunately, women of color are more disenfranchised than white women. Go look up the Dept. of Labor statistics. Women in every field from a Bachelor's to a Doctorate degree are paid less than men. Every field-even nursing where women vastly outnumber men. So did those women give their power away?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I hear the cynicism and am not sure why you would think that being a white, heterosexual woman excludes you from hardship or discrimination. You're a woman-you already reside in the bottom half of equity. Take a sociology class, if you haven't already-it's mind boggling. No political agenda-just studying cultural and social constructs and their effects on us all.
If your cynicism is because you've been to hell and back….I'm glad you made it back!! But I'm still sorry you had to go on the journey to hell. No one gets out of this life without suffering, but there is no question some suffer more than others. When it can't be helped, we have to suck it up and there can be a certain dignity in that. When it CAN be helped because it doesn't HAVE to be that way, we don't have to suck it up and there is a certain dignity in "fighting" by simply refusing to be subjected to deliberate suffering, and there is dignity in that, as well. We can insist that we do not have to withstand suffering when it's imposed on us by someone else.
As for writing speeches for presidents-no one would have me, I'm certain. I refuse to abide by party politics and loyalties. I will be loyal to ideals and ethics, not to people who do not embrace ethics.
Email me-we can talk about what you've lived through and I'm curious about your cynicism-your story is probably compelling. I'm all ears woman :) Thanks for the debate, too.
Don't let the name fool you, you know me P, and my story (I'm a "friendly"), and I know much of yours.
ReplyDeleteThe debate is the only reason I'm here, you wanted someone to inspire your thought (at least that's what I sense)
so, some questions for you:
Who do you suppose "gave" white, property- owning men their vote? (other white, property- owning men perhaps?)
I don't believe you willingly gave your power away, no, but you did and continue to without realising by simply believing those social constructs (the white property owning men) govern you as an individual
you know how many times in a day I see men amazed at my capabilities, how often they make a fuss about the fact that I'm a girl and do what I do? my only response is to look at them as if they are the "defective" person for not understanding that women are capable of the same things men are. (men don't like to have their intelligence questioned)
I know what I can do, I'm just here to do it, not to
prove anything to anyone.
why do you do the job you do?
is it because you want to earn equal wages to a man?
is it because you want to inspire other women?
is it because you want to be a "hero"?
or is it simply because you enjoy that career and want to help people?
I'd certainly like to see progress for women, but I doubt it'll happen on the level it should, because women are too lazy and self centred, to busy buying into what we're taught from birth, that we're supposed to be pretty and have babies, that that is what it means to be a "woman".
We'll never be equal 'cause we'll never hold power, our biology, our psychology and our physicality will see to that long before social constructs even look like making an appearance.
P.S if it IS to inspire other women, how is that going for you? signing up a lot of girls in their late teens early 20's?
DeleteP.P.S I don't (personally) believe you're right about how women attained the right to vote, I suspect that (in actual fact) was more likely achieved the same way a woman attains most anything from a man, and that most of the hard work for that deal took place behind closed doors.
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