DJ is off on her first official outing without a parent in tow. Kudos young woman!!
She has been slowly but surely climbing back onto the saddle of the horse that threw her. The horse in question would be named----bastard is what I want to say, and frankly nothing more clever or creative comes to mind, so Bastard it is. Bastard encompasses non-acceptance, rejection, disappointment in the reality of her life as a transgender teen in a small town, and the feelings of inadequacy that resulted from the aforementioned. But Bastard can't keep a good girl down, and so she bravely climbed into a VW Bug with Sister Chromatid about 30 minutes ago in another effort to get on with her life.
What's the big deal about her going out with her best friend? Well, I don't truly understand it myself, but I accept that it is her reality. Anorexia, as stated before, is not just about eating. It's also about social anxiety in many cases. DJ, like many of her peers who struggle with this disorder, often feel socially isolated. From what I've observed, many of these folks are overachievers and when they face something they can't overcome, they try to find another way around the obstacle. DJ, for example, tried to "fix" herself by controlling how she ate so that maybe, by being thinner and prettier, to quote her, her supposed "friends" would like her again like they used to like JD. Of course, it didn't work but she didn't see it was because she couldn't control their mistakes, only that she didn't do SOMETHING well enough. This seemed to compound in her brain and translated to her feeling like she couldn't do anything well and that there was something really wrong with her as a person. It's a tricky downward spiral.
And it seemed to happen overnight. It's like someone flipped a switch. One day, DJ was ready to take on the world, the next, she was unsure of herself, constantly. Sister Chromatid did not understand DJ's social anxiety and thought it had something to do with DJ not wanting to be around her. Once I explained to Sister Chromatid that DJ was putting pressure on herself and that her feelings of inadequacy around peers had nothing to do with Sister Chromatid, I could see the dawning understanding on Sister Chromatid's face.
So, the two of them just went out the door to have a latte at the local coffee shop and then to see "Titanic" at the movie theatre. They'll likely just hang out afterwords at Sister Chromatid's house because hanging out here makes DJ uncomfortable having to play "hostess". She is going to get a taste of what it's like to take off in a car, without parents, and that bit of freedom with her best friend is going to make her want more of it, even if it means facing her stressors more often. The good will simply outweigh the bad. I'm so happy for her. It's a beautiful day for two best friends to simply hang out and "be". Paint the town red ladies :)
She has been slowly but surely climbing back onto the saddle of the horse that threw her. The horse in question would be named----bastard is what I want to say, and frankly nothing more clever or creative comes to mind, so Bastard it is. Bastard encompasses non-acceptance, rejection, disappointment in the reality of her life as a transgender teen in a small town, and the feelings of inadequacy that resulted from the aforementioned. But Bastard can't keep a good girl down, and so she bravely climbed into a VW Bug with Sister Chromatid about 30 minutes ago in another effort to get on with her life.
What's the big deal about her going out with her best friend? Well, I don't truly understand it myself, but I accept that it is her reality. Anorexia, as stated before, is not just about eating. It's also about social anxiety in many cases. DJ, like many of her peers who struggle with this disorder, often feel socially isolated. From what I've observed, many of these folks are overachievers and when they face something they can't overcome, they try to find another way around the obstacle. DJ, for example, tried to "fix" herself by controlling how she ate so that maybe, by being thinner and prettier, to quote her, her supposed "friends" would like her again like they used to like JD. Of course, it didn't work but she didn't see it was because she couldn't control their mistakes, only that she didn't do SOMETHING well enough. This seemed to compound in her brain and translated to her feeling like she couldn't do anything well and that there was something really wrong with her as a person. It's a tricky downward spiral.
And it seemed to happen overnight. It's like someone flipped a switch. One day, DJ was ready to take on the world, the next, she was unsure of herself, constantly. Sister Chromatid did not understand DJ's social anxiety and thought it had something to do with DJ not wanting to be around her. Once I explained to Sister Chromatid that DJ was putting pressure on herself and that her feelings of inadequacy around peers had nothing to do with Sister Chromatid, I could see the dawning understanding on Sister Chromatid's face.
So, the two of them just went out the door to have a latte at the local coffee shop and then to see "Titanic" at the movie theatre. They'll likely just hang out afterwords at Sister Chromatid's house because hanging out here makes DJ uncomfortable having to play "hostess". She is going to get a taste of what it's like to take off in a car, without parents, and that bit of freedom with her best friend is going to make her want more of it, even if it means facing her stressors more often. The good will simply outweigh the bad. I'm so happy for her. It's a beautiful day for two best friends to simply hang out and "be". Paint the town red ladies :)
Nice going DJ!
ReplyDeleteWhy do we fall?..., so we can learn how to pick ourselves back up.
Hope you're all well
Anonymous-you are fabulous :)
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