By eleven o'clock this morning, I had my suitcase 95% packed for next week. I have roughly 75% of my chores taken care of related to my absence from work during DJ's recuperation out of state. Bulldog is managing our finances. We are planning for DJ's birthday this week-two days before we leave for DJ's gender confirmation surgery.
Meanwhile, Romeo needs us to cosign for his student loan and apartment lease which complicates the refinance of our mortgage that Bulldog is trying to finish up. DJ is supposed to be working on her research paper so that she can stay somewhat current with her English class. Goodwrench is plugging along taking care of himself entirely-which is a huge relief.
We are also supposed to be logging every meal that DJ eats. That has completely fallen by the wayside. We all pay close attention to what she eats and how often she eats. We are all very familiar with portions of each food group that must be represented, but we simply cannot seem to remember to keep the log. I also have a little over an hour to complete forms that the school system requires to allow DJ to continue with being tutored at home for the remainder of the school year. Of course, the school system wants to pull the plug on the funds to allow that to happen-that freaking figures. They were supportive of DJ's hospitalization for her eating disorder, but do not seem to consider her upcoming surgery a true "medical" issue that warrants her missing school. I'm sure someone, in his/her ignorance, considers this "elective" not curative surgery.
I would love to battle the school system right now and point out that we have followed, to the letter, the guidelines of the WPATH organization, which the American Medical Association endorses. How the local school system can decide that this is not a medical issue is beyond my understanding. But, I currently feel too compromised to fight that battle right this moment. And I know Bulldog is too. We will likely pay the teacher out of our pocket to keep DJ current with her studies. All we can do is manage what is most important right now.
For instance, Bean was stating yesterday, pretty emphatically I might add, how frightened she is about DJ returning to her public school next year. In fact, she flat out told me I should "be the parent" and refuse to let her. I completely agree, but that will mean scoping out other possibilities for schooling, and having the conversation with DJ to let her know why we do not want to allow her to return to her public school-both of which are beyond our current abilities. We can only focus on what next week holds for us.
I've never experienced something like this before that seems so involved that many of my other faculties are unavailable for other pursuits. Bulldog feels the same way. I mentioned this conversation to him and he replied, "I can't even think about that right now. That's next school year. We'll worry about that after the surgery."
No wonder we have to keep nagging DJ to work on that research paper. She MUST be feeling like this multiplied by, oh, I don't know-a zillion maybe?
Meanwhile, Romeo needs us to cosign for his student loan and apartment lease which complicates the refinance of our mortgage that Bulldog is trying to finish up. DJ is supposed to be working on her research paper so that she can stay somewhat current with her English class. Goodwrench is plugging along taking care of himself entirely-which is a huge relief.
We are also supposed to be logging every meal that DJ eats. That has completely fallen by the wayside. We all pay close attention to what she eats and how often she eats. We are all very familiar with portions of each food group that must be represented, but we simply cannot seem to remember to keep the log. I also have a little over an hour to complete forms that the school system requires to allow DJ to continue with being tutored at home for the remainder of the school year. Of course, the school system wants to pull the plug on the funds to allow that to happen-that freaking figures. They were supportive of DJ's hospitalization for her eating disorder, but do not seem to consider her upcoming surgery a true "medical" issue that warrants her missing school. I'm sure someone, in his/her ignorance, considers this "elective" not curative surgery.
I would love to battle the school system right now and point out that we have followed, to the letter, the guidelines of the WPATH organization, which the American Medical Association endorses. How the local school system can decide that this is not a medical issue is beyond my understanding. But, I currently feel too compromised to fight that battle right this moment. And I know Bulldog is too. We will likely pay the teacher out of our pocket to keep DJ current with her studies. All we can do is manage what is most important right now.
For instance, Bean was stating yesterday, pretty emphatically I might add, how frightened she is about DJ returning to her public school next year. In fact, she flat out told me I should "be the parent" and refuse to let her. I completely agree, but that will mean scoping out other possibilities for schooling, and having the conversation with DJ to let her know why we do not want to allow her to return to her public school-both of which are beyond our current abilities. We can only focus on what next week holds for us.
I've never experienced something like this before that seems so involved that many of my other faculties are unavailable for other pursuits. Bulldog feels the same way. I mentioned this conversation to him and he replied, "I can't even think about that right now. That's next school year. We'll worry about that after the surgery."
No wonder we have to keep nagging DJ to work on that research paper. She MUST be feeling like this multiplied by, oh, I don't know-a zillion maybe?
Damn woman! I'm glad this'll be over soon, I can tell from your writing that you're running on empty.
ReplyDeleteHope you're all well
Best wishes!
Dear Friend,
ReplyDeleteBe at peace. Know in your heart that you are doing the right thing and that those things that seem so despertely pressing right now will soon be behind you.
Know that inthe future there will be other problems and other issues to be dealt with but, as you and your family have always done in the past, you will again rise above them.
Know that t is love that keeps you strong and love that will over come.
In reading your posts, I am struck by how you refer to your child as trans-gender. Has it occurred to you that it is not the gender of child which is being changed, but the sexual characteristics which are being altered.
Yur child is going through a sexual metamorphosis, not a change in genders. Perhaps this is how we are being taught how to think, but think about the reality. Your child was born with the wrong sexual characteristics, not the wrong gender.
Right now I understand that nomenclature is not a central or pressing issue. Right now you are rightly focused on the immediate well being of your family as well as all those worrisome details involved with what is going on RIGHT NOW.
Nevertheless, when the dust settles and you have a moment to reflect would it not make more sense to your children's educators to really, clearly understand what is fundamentally being changed or trans-formed?
Be at peace and know that you are all loved beyond reason and that you just might have friends in high places.
Another Friend
Dear Another Friend and Friend,
ReplyDeleteThank you both for your loving support. I wish I could convey how much words on a screen bring me peace.
Another Friend-you make an excellent point about nomenclature and I use the "T" word in this blog more than I ever do in real life. I suppose it's a point of reference since I'm hoping that other families who are navigating these waters will know that our child is like theirs. And yes, her gender has always been female- it's just her "parts" that she wants altered.
With affection,
The Author
Don't you worry about "another friend" she's just a crank old broad!.... ;-P
ReplyDeleteROFLMAO!
P.s she is right though. :-)
ReplyDelete@a-friend
ReplyDeleteOUCH!!!
I resemble that remark. ;-)
I'm nothing if not honest ;-)
ReplyDeleteI love you folks-this is great stuff!! :) Methinks you all know each other somehow ;)
ReplyDeleteThe authos
AuthoR not authoS-sorry
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the "underground" were we "hide in plain sight" ;-P
ReplyDeleteHeheh!
Hope you're well :)