We are in a delicate balance of trying to just maintain the status quo. The upcoming surgery looms large and while DJ seems nonplussed, Bulldog and I are scrambling to finish up loose ends at work so that we can take as much time off as possible.
Disc Jockey pointed out that in spite of everything moving forward as planned that we have to realize that this is a stressful time for us all. It's easy to lose track of that because we have been so busy for months with trying to checks tasks off of our to-do lists that we forget to analyze whether or not we SHOULD be trying to accomplish everything on the lists.
For instance, DJ is overwhelmed at trying to catch up with school. Initially, Bulldog and I figured she could catch up on all of her classes. We've since winnowed it down to just one, for the time being. We're letting her drop AP calculus altogether since she's already taken calculus. French III is out of the question for this semester, but she can take it next year. She has to take 11th grade english or she cannot progress to 12th grade english next year, so that stays. But whether or not we insist on her finishing her AP Music Theory class is still in negotiations.
As usual, Miss Thing had to be close-mouthed about what was really driving her to want to drop it.
"I just don't want to do it."
Well now, why didn't you just say that sooner? You simply don't want to? OK-we'll accommodate you....NOT.
It turns out that one of the course requirements is to skype with the instructor and sight sing. This is when you are given a piece of music you've never seen before and you are to sing it the first time you see it. DJ's social anxiety, which is so much a part of her anorexia, plagues her in this instance. Disc Jockey pointed out that if the instructor will give DJ an extension, perhaps we can revisit this issue after the surgery. She maintains, and I think she's onto something, that this low-grade but ever- present stress that revolves around the upcoming surgery can make a number of tasks seem overwhelming. She adds that perhaps it might be best to just stay in a holding pattern for the next few weeks.
She is right. We can definitely accommodate that request.
However, since DJ is not terribly comfortable being with many people for any length of time, and cannot be left home long enough to be trusted to eat properly yet, then she will simply have to accompany me to work occasionally. What we can NOT accommodate is her fashion panache in my workplace.
She came out of her room this morning wearing short shorts over the top of fishnet stockings and some rocker chick top. I recall nothing else except the shorts and fishnet stockings. She couldn't understand why I wouldn't let her wear that to my place of business.
I am currently in the business of educating paramedics and firefighters. Yeah, right-AS IF I want any of those knuckle draggers (I can call them that because 1. I am one of them and 2. I married one.) checking out my daughter in spite of the fact that she's practically inviting their ogling with her attire.
I swear kids have this innate sense of parental relaxation:
"Well, I won the battle over the AP class, even if it just for now. I'll bet I can get away with dressing like I'm considering a career in the oldest profession in the world."
Frankly, if a kid is feeling unstressed enough to try to get away with crap, she's feeling well enough to do her English homework without any kvetching. Agreed? As always, it's about finding balance.
What is asking too much of a person? When should a person be required to at least try a little bit in certain areas? Which areas are important enough to ask the person to try and which areas just aren't worth stressing over? When is giving in considered compromise, and when is it just giving up? These are tough questions that keep resurfacing. The good news is tough times teach us to truly prioritize. If we're paying attention, we learn what really IS important. Sometimes meeting the bare minimum is more than enough. My father is probably rolling in his grave....
Disc Jockey pointed out that in spite of everything moving forward as planned that we have to realize that this is a stressful time for us all. It's easy to lose track of that because we have been so busy for months with trying to checks tasks off of our to-do lists that we forget to analyze whether or not we SHOULD be trying to accomplish everything on the lists.
For instance, DJ is overwhelmed at trying to catch up with school. Initially, Bulldog and I figured she could catch up on all of her classes. We've since winnowed it down to just one, for the time being. We're letting her drop AP calculus altogether since she's already taken calculus. French III is out of the question for this semester, but she can take it next year. She has to take 11th grade english or she cannot progress to 12th grade english next year, so that stays. But whether or not we insist on her finishing her AP Music Theory class is still in negotiations.
As usual, Miss Thing had to be close-mouthed about what was really driving her to want to drop it.
"I just don't want to do it."
Well now, why didn't you just say that sooner? You simply don't want to? OK-we'll accommodate you....NOT.
It turns out that one of the course requirements is to skype with the instructor and sight sing. This is when you are given a piece of music you've never seen before and you are to sing it the first time you see it. DJ's social anxiety, which is so much a part of her anorexia, plagues her in this instance. Disc Jockey pointed out that if the instructor will give DJ an extension, perhaps we can revisit this issue after the surgery. She maintains, and I think she's onto something, that this low-grade but ever- present stress that revolves around the upcoming surgery can make a number of tasks seem overwhelming. She adds that perhaps it might be best to just stay in a holding pattern for the next few weeks.
She is right. We can definitely accommodate that request.
However, since DJ is not terribly comfortable being with many people for any length of time, and cannot be left home long enough to be trusted to eat properly yet, then she will simply have to accompany me to work occasionally. What we can NOT accommodate is her fashion panache in my workplace.
She came out of her room this morning wearing short shorts over the top of fishnet stockings and some rocker chick top. I recall nothing else except the shorts and fishnet stockings. She couldn't understand why I wouldn't let her wear that to my place of business.
I am currently in the business of educating paramedics and firefighters. Yeah, right-AS IF I want any of those knuckle draggers (I can call them that because 1. I am one of them and 2. I married one.) checking out my daughter in spite of the fact that she's practically inviting their ogling with her attire.
I swear kids have this innate sense of parental relaxation:
"Well, I won the battle over the AP class, even if it just for now. I'll bet I can get away with dressing like I'm considering a career in the oldest profession in the world."
Frankly, if a kid is feeling unstressed enough to try to get away with crap, she's feeling well enough to do her English homework without any kvetching. Agreed? As always, it's about finding balance.
What is asking too much of a person? When should a person be required to at least try a little bit in certain areas? Which areas are important enough to ask the person to try and which areas just aren't worth stressing over? When is giving in considered compromise, and when is it just giving up? These are tough questions that keep resurfacing. The good news is tough times teach us to truly prioritize. If we're paying attention, we learn what really IS important. Sometimes meeting the bare minimum is more than enough. My father is probably rolling in his grave....
Well, I guess If nothing else that COULD answer your question about her orientation ;-)
ReplyDelete