Am I sounding like Mary Poppins in this blog? I wonder how the readers in Russia and Poland will react-"Mary Poppins?....huh?" I feel as if I should apologize to my transgender readers if I make this issue sound like sunshine and roses because I know it's not. And perhaps I assume that if something works for me, it will work for everyone. Bulldog has pointed out to me that I seem to think I know everything and I know he's onto something. And I know Flying Pig has gently informed me that sometimes I can sound patronizing so I worry that I may risk alienating readers with my rose colored glasses perspective.
I guess it's hard to comprehend, considering how I'm telling the e-world, and apparently, my family how to fit into this world, that actually, I consider myself one of the duller knives in the drawer. The way I figure it is, if I can figure some things out, than most people are probably capable. But if it took me 20 years to stumble across some truth, perhaps I can save someone else the trouble, grief and time. Maybe it's the annoying caretaker in me, truthfully, I don't know, but I've suffered enough missteps and failures in my life, witnessed as the strong disregard the strong-but-challenged-in-some-way by not turning to lend a helping hand, that I just can't be a party to it; if I feel like I'm on to something, I have a duty to share. After all, people can simply not tune in or click on the "x" on their screen if they think I'm full of baloney.
This world rewards the folks who appear to be able to do it all. The magazines have mother-of-the-year awards, but they are reserved for the moms who are great moms AND volunteer for 10 agencies, or work outside the home as corporate executives for non-profits. Who are these people? I don't know anyone like this. To quote Miss Eliza Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, in defense of women who are not "accomplished" by 19th century standards (or today's standards for that matter) "I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any."
THAT is precisely why I started this blog. It's complete and utter bull$--- that the rest of us who don't conform with the Joneses are somewhat less than. I huddled in my inferiority complex for a good decade before I even glimpsed of the possibility of celebrating my weaknesses and strengths and why? Partly because I bought into this notion of self-sufficiency that is inherent in America. I'm all for independence, don't get me wrong, but not a single thing has been accomplished by one person alone, ever, I don't think. But some people are much better at giving the impression that they've got it all figured out and that the rest of us are a bunch of dull butter knives. We all know this is just a form of one-upsmenship (the one time where I don't want a female or genderless equivalent of a word) designed to make the person who proposes their superiority feel, well, superior, yet we buy into all the time and we try to do more, be more, just to feel worthy.
I thank GOD for my kids and my husband. All 4 of them simultaneously make me feel important AND illustrate where I need to grow. My transgender daughter, DJ, has highlighted that quality more than anyone simply because her reality has been one that has been closeted for centuries, at least in American and Judeo-Christian societies. She challenges me to be a truer, better person all the blessed time. Not that she does it knowingly, which is what makes her even more special, as a person. So, as a family, we're succeeding in this challenge of helping her successfully transition. Being on the "can I lend you a helping hand?" side of the team, in this instance, means that I should, and want to help those who are on the, "hey, can you lend me a hand?" side of the team. I have definitely been on that side....in my line of work, being old and small, that's the side of the team I often inhabit. Which is probably why I feel like I must offer support, help, ideas, and cyber love to those on the other side of the team. I just can't say, "Yeah, well I got mine. Sucks to be you."
So, if I tend to sound know-it-all, I ask your forgiveness and understanding. I just want to pass on some of our insights, failures, successes, feelings, observations, experiences and anything else that I think, and hope, will make others in our boat, or even those in some other boats, feel less alone in this journey. At work, they call this propensity of mine, "mom-ing" as in, "You're mom-ing all over him again." They know I mean well, even if I am occasionally annoying; I hope you do too.
I guess it's hard to comprehend, considering how I'm telling the e-world, and apparently, my family how to fit into this world, that actually, I consider myself one of the duller knives in the drawer. The way I figure it is, if I can figure some things out, than most people are probably capable. But if it took me 20 years to stumble across some truth, perhaps I can save someone else the trouble, grief and time. Maybe it's the annoying caretaker in me, truthfully, I don't know, but I've suffered enough missteps and failures in my life, witnessed as the strong disregard the strong-but-challenged-in-some-way by not turning to lend a helping hand, that I just can't be a party to it; if I feel like I'm on to something, I have a duty to share. After all, people can simply not tune in or click on the "x" on their screen if they think I'm full of baloney.
This world rewards the folks who appear to be able to do it all. The magazines have mother-of-the-year awards, but they are reserved for the moms who are great moms AND volunteer for 10 agencies, or work outside the home as corporate executives for non-profits. Who are these people? I don't know anyone like this. To quote Miss Eliza Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, in defense of women who are not "accomplished" by 19th century standards (or today's standards for that matter) "I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any."
THAT is precisely why I started this blog. It's complete and utter bull$--- that the rest of us who don't conform with the Joneses are somewhat less than. I huddled in my inferiority complex for a good decade before I even glimpsed of the possibility of celebrating my weaknesses and strengths and why? Partly because I bought into this notion of self-sufficiency that is inherent in America. I'm all for independence, don't get me wrong, but not a single thing has been accomplished by one person alone, ever, I don't think. But some people are much better at giving the impression that they've got it all figured out and that the rest of us are a bunch of dull butter knives. We all know this is just a form of one-upsmenship (the one time where I don't want a female or genderless equivalent of a word) designed to make the person who proposes their superiority feel, well, superior, yet we buy into all the time and we try to do more, be more, just to feel worthy.
I thank GOD for my kids and my husband. All 4 of them simultaneously make me feel important AND illustrate where I need to grow. My transgender daughter, DJ, has highlighted that quality more than anyone simply because her reality has been one that has been closeted for centuries, at least in American and Judeo-Christian societies. She challenges me to be a truer, better person all the blessed time. Not that she does it knowingly, which is what makes her even more special, as a person. So, as a family, we're succeeding in this challenge of helping her successfully transition. Being on the "can I lend you a helping hand?" side of the team, in this instance, means that I should, and want to help those who are on the, "hey, can you lend me a hand?" side of the team. I have definitely been on that side....in my line of work, being old and small, that's the side of the team I often inhabit. Which is probably why I feel like I must offer support, help, ideas, and cyber love to those on the other side of the team. I just can't say, "Yeah, well I got mine. Sucks to be you."
So, if I tend to sound know-it-all, I ask your forgiveness and understanding. I just want to pass on some of our insights, failures, successes, feelings, observations, experiences and anything else that I think, and hope, will make others in our boat, or even those in some other boats, feel less alone in this journey. At work, they call this propensity of mine, "mom-ing" as in, "You're mom-ing all over him again." They know I mean well, even if I am occasionally annoying; I hope you do too.
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