Can we talk about what "family " means today? I am inspired by my family and people who have been acting as if they are my family. For those of you who know us, maybe you'll see yourself mentioned below.
Some of us are born into our families, some of us adopt them, or are adopted by them. Some family members "choose" each other having no DNA in common, nor any legally sanctioned anything to say it is so. Some family members started as neighbors, others as babysitters, or are sisters of another family member's significant other; some started as co-workers, or even supervisors. We acquire family members through marriage or simply long term commitment. And the natural attribute of a good family member is often that they are so often "there" for you, that their importance can be taken for granted, simply because we become so accustomed to their steadfast support.
So, if you're holding a glass of OJ, or water, a moody little Merlot or a kicky Pinot Grigio, (oops, can't forget my sis) or even simply a Bud light-please raise your glass, or can, and toast these fine folks:
The elderly, conservative but unbelievably loving and accepting Grandpa, the brothers who were ready to face down their parents if we didn't accept their new sister, the aunts (and there are MANY) who welcomed DJ to the female clan with open arms and acted as scaffolding when JD broke the news, the uncles (geez, lots of those too) who tenderly accepted their new niece, the cousins who have circled the wagons around her from the beginning, to Mimi who, frankly, just plain loves the stuffing out of DJ, always has, always will. To the Godfather of all godfathers-you are irreplacable.
To our neighbors-you were ready to kick anybody and everybody's @$$ who even looked cross-eyed at anyone in our family. To our friends,both old and new, you help make us all feel safer because of your support. To my newfound old friend, your ability to love is inspiring. To the handful of coworkers with whom I shared private information and true to your word, spoke not a word AND were able to use the correct pronouns so quickly-you blow me away. To folks who were childhood friends of my baby sister, for goodness sake, your words of encouragement are like the homemade strawbery jam in the most awesome PB&J sandwich...EVER. To the Riverbottom gang: while some of you may resemble rednecks, all of you have hearts of 24K gold. To the school counselor who is a true professional, walks softly but carries a big @$$ stick when it comes to DJ, a special shout out, as well. Even our sons' friends and a special girlfriend have reached out in ways I could never have anticipated, so you are included in this toast, too. And sister/daughter chromatid, you know who you are-you define what a true friend is. You may be tiny in stature, but you have the heart of a lion; you and your family are a blessing.
Here's the thing-when you put yourself out there for our daughter and our family, you became our family, I'm just not sure who adopted whom; and it doesn't even matter. There have been moments where any one of you has done or said SOMETHING that has blown both Bulldog and me away. DJ thinks everybody is naturally nice, because in her world there are only fairies, butterflies and fairness to all, but that's because all of you have made her feel that safe. And that alone is more than enough.
But here's the other thing: you've renewed my faith and my hope in people. And hopefully, when I share your shining examples on this blog, maybe some other person in our shoes, or DJ's shoes will know what is possible. What an incredible, unexpected gift. For that, and for everything, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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